Movie Review: The Benchwarmers. AKA, "What Is Wrong With Me."
I am horrified, sickened and terrified to report that I saw the Benchwarmers tonight and .. and .. oh, God, Internet. I found Rob Schneider attractive.
That's right. This is Rob Schneider,
and this is Rob Schneider,
and oh, God, THIS is Rob Schneider,
and tonight.. tonight he was makin' copies of my heart.
In my defense, I must admit to having a bit of a thing for men in uniform. Baseball shirts, men who know their way around a sporting arena ... it goes hand in hand with being attracted to a man who has a hammer and knows how to use it.
(This is an important point, as if any of y'all are dating a man who doesn't know how to use a hammer, you should probably like... have him tested or something. I mean really. It's ... it's tapping a nail into a piece of wood. This shouldn't be a challenge.)
Benchwarmers was fairly decent. A League Of Their Own wins as my most favourite movie about a sport I never play ever, but Benchwarmers, while not in that league, had a boy with agoraphobia and as everyone knows, crippling phobias are hilarious.
I do adore Jon Lovitz in most things as well, and ... without giving anything away, watch out for a truly magnificent scene involving - what is probably my favourite pasttime and should be yours too -- making Peanut Butter Dragons and makeshift castles made of cardboard. AKA WHAT I WILL BE DOING NEXT WEEKEND, BIATCHES.
Anyways. Back to me and my movie going experience, because really. This entire thing is about me, and maybe a little bit about how bad I feel for Napoleon Dynamite and what is doubtless his endless bout of typecasting. He needs to do something really drastic to change things up a bit. I'm thinking ... nudity.
I would totally recommend seeing it, although I wouldn't recommend losing complete control of your body, falling down clumsily into your seat and unknowingly spilling a load of popcorn into your purse which you end up finding later while at Seattle Coffeehouse, feeling around inside your purse and wondering why "everything is greasy". And yet, so delicious!
.... THE NEXT DAY....
I'm fine now. There is no residual Rob Schneider attraction. Thank you, God.
That's right. This is Rob Schneider,
and this is Rob Schneider,
and oh, God, THIS is Rob Schneider,
and tonight.. tonight he was makin' copies of my heart.
In my defense, I must admit to having a bit of a thing for men in uniform. Baseball shirts, men who know their way around a sporting arena ... it goes hand in hand with being attracted to a man who has a hammer and knows how to use it.
(This is an important point, as if any of y'all are dating a man who doesn't know how to use a hammer, you should probably like... have him tested or something. I mean really. It's ... it's tapping a nail into a piece of wood. This shouldn't be a challenge.)
Benchwarmers was fairly decent. A League Of Their Own wins as my most favourite movie about a sport I never play ever, but Benchwarmers, while not in that league, had a boy with agoraphobia and as everyone knows, crippling phobias are hilarious.
I do adore Jon Lovitz in most things as well, and ... without giving anything away, watch out for a truly magnificent scene involving - what is probably my favourite pasttime and should be yours too -- making Peanut Butter Dragons and makeshift castles made of cardboard. AKA WHAT I WILL BE DOING NEXT WEEKEND, BIATCHES.
Anyways. Back to me and my movie going experience, because really. This entire thing is about me, and maybe a little bit about how bad I feel for Napoleon Dynamite and what is doubtless his endless bout of typecasting. He needs to do something really drastic to change things up a bit. I'm thinking ... nudity.
I would totally recommend seeing it, although I wouldn't recommend losing complete control of your body, falling down clumsily into your seat and unknowingly spilling a load of popcorn into your purse which you end up finding later while at Seattle Coffeehouse, feeling around inside your purse and wondering why "everything is greasy". And yet, so delicious!
.... THE NEXT DAY....
I'm fine now. There is no residual Rob Schneider attraction. Thank you, God.
Labels: Film Geekery
posted by sarah, the pirate at 9:27 PM
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4 Comments:
hehehehehehe
You crack me up!
I think (but I'm not sure, probably repressed it) there was a time - just a fleeting moment - when I found Rob attractive too... but it didn't last, either. Poor Rob.
hey sar:p you know whats funny...i TOO actually sorta found rob scheinder....not hot hot or anything just there was something about him in that movie that was somewhat hot:o lol i didn't really wanna say anything cause i thought you'd make fun of me terribly haha:p oh and i agree with you about the statement of men in uniforms ...i also find that surprisingly appealing also...i'ts just like joquin phoenix...i don't normally find him really attractive but in ladder 49 when he's in his firefighters uniform and his muscles were bulging i found it kinda hot hahah:P
sar
Does that go for ANY uniform?
So apparently Rob Schneider has some general attractiveness.
I am not sure whether to be relieved that I am not alone, or worried for the female population.
And Will: Show me a plumber and I will show you a stud.
.. uhm, maybe. I haven't really tested this theory.
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