Every now and then I get a little something something something.

That water out there? That water is cold.

For those of you brave enough to try nightswimming, don't. Laura and I, we who pride ourselves on being the bad assest nightswimming mothafuckas of Lake Superior couldn't even stand the frigid lake waters tonight.

After taking off our pants, Crocs and Moccasins respectively, we stood at the shore, clapped our hands a few times (as is our custom), shook out our shoulders and our bodies like Olympic swimmers getting ready to breaststroke for gold, and dipped our toes in. Like ice, it was! And yet.

Counting to three, we yelled, "OKAY, MAYBE JUST OUR SHINS." and ran out into the water, making it up to our ankles before our bodies just gave up and forcibly made us turn around and nip back to shore.

Where we were swimming (I don't like to say, because we swim half naked and I am convinced that one day someone from the Internet is going to purposely stumble upon us standing ankle deep in lake water screaming "MY NIPPLES COULD CUT GLASS OVER HERE.") there is a rock, that looks much like the Little Mermaid rock, aka, the movie of our hearts. (Sharing space with Dirty Dancing, the Bodyguard, among others.)

I'm not sure if all of you will know what I'm talking about, but I was definitely one of the little girls back in 1989 1998 who JUST KNEW that they were secretly the human basis for Ariel, except with a dirty blonde mullet, giant turquoise glasses and an unfortunate penchant for pronouncing R's as W's.

At public pools, I was always the one wearing the polka dotted bathing suit with the pointless bathing suit skirt, who was propelling herself out of the chlorinated water, swinging her short-long back and jutting her chest out over the side in near perfect mimicry of that scene in the Little Mermaid.

You know which scene I'm talking about. You've all done this. Don't pretend.

I say "near perfect mimicry" because Ariel is really hard to pull off when your idea of looking hot is to pull back your mullet with a hundred different plastic butterfly clips while wearing a circa 1987 Disneyworld Minnie Mouse tshirt in the water because you're self conscious about having breasts. Anyhow, I think we've established that I had a very awesome mullet, and the result of said mullet was why I never got the lead in any school play. We can move on now.

So Laura and I found this rock on the shore of the lake and we ran for it. Climbing up on the rock was a bit of a challenge as we are both physically awkward and can barely walk on an even surface most of the time without stumbling around like we've been into the cooking sherry. Finally we managed to get up, only there was one ass groove and Laura nabbed it first. I pulled myself up onto the rock, but ended up nearly getting violated by Wild Goose.

After our lake adventure we sat in a romantic parked car at Hillcrest ... eating hot fudge sundaes, singing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and shining our headlights obnoxiously into other parked cars.