How To Dance Like A Sovereign: The Sovereign Family Guide to Awesome Dancing
How To Dance Like A Sovereign : Part One
It's best to ball your hands into fists and keep your arms close to your body. If you're not sure how to do this, just try imitating a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Make sure you're mouthing the words to your favourite song with your eyes closed, even if that's not the song that's currently playing. Remember that belting out selections by the following bands are not only acceptable, but nay, should be shared with the entire dance floor: Stevie Nicks, Twisted Sister, Dr. Hook, that song Jamie L. sang really loudly with his guitar that one night when he was wasted, Donny & Marie Osmond, that kicky 1996 song by Donna Lewis.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign : Part Two
Take every oppurtunity to check out the rack of the girl you're dancing with.
If you are a girl, carry on. You will be too busy doing "the Lawnmower" to notice anyways.
Make sure you clap your hands and yell "WOOOOOOO" every now and again, just so others know you're having "A REALLY GREAT TIME, OMG."
When the time is right start to shimmy down towards floor level, pretending that you can't really get up, and then surprise concerned on lookers by jumping up with your arms in the air, throwing one fisted hand up to emphasize your infamous Sovereign vitality. They will laugh, realizing it's all just a hoax, while you nurse your aching kneecaps with the OINTMENT OF RHYTHM.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign : Part Three
After you've done the Lawnmower and shaken your ass sufficiently you will want to take things to the next natural step: disrobing.
Start to ease out of your clothing, knowing, as all Sovereign's do, that pants are always optional.
Make sure you're singing along to something as you do it, preferably with your eyes closed. If you don't have a drink, get one, and make sure you throw it around and get it all over yourself.
Likewise, if you have a cigarette, smoke it from the wrong end and tell everyone that you did it.
If you're wearing hammer pants, do at least one Running Man before whipping them off and throwing them in the face of super impressed onlookers. Most likely these onlookers will be relatives, and Grandpa will definitely appreciate getting a sweat stained 1990's throwback all over the sweater your mom got him from you for Christmas.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign: Part Four
You can never go wrong with putting your arms up, behind your head and gyrating your hips a little.
If this doesn't seem to work well enough just flail your arms in the air. If you can't quite visualize this, think in terms of being a drowning person, but rather than drowning in water, you are DROWNING IN HOTNESS.
It's best to ball your hands into fists and keep your arms close to your body. If you're not sure how to do this, just try imitating a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Make sure you're mouthing the words to your favourite song with your eyes closed, even if that's not the song that's currently playing. Remember that belting out selections by the following bands are not only acceptable, but nay, should be shared with the entire dance floor: Stevie Nicks, Twisted Sister, Dr. Hook, that song Jamie L. sang really loudly with his guitar that one night when he was wasted, Donny & Marie Osmond, that kicky 1996 song by Donna Lewis.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign : Part Two
Take every oppurtunity to check out the rack of the girl you're dancing with.
If you are a girl, carry on. You will be too busy doing "the Lawnmower" to notice anyways.
Make sure you clap your hands and yell "WOOOOOOO" every now and again, just so others know you're having "A REALLY GREAT TIME, OMG."
When the time is right start to shimmy down towards floor level, pretending that you can't really get up, and then surprise concerned on lookers by jumping up with your arms in the air, throwing one fisted hand up to emphasize your infamous Sovereign vitality. They will laugh, realizing it's all just a hoax, while you nurse your aching kneecaps with the OINTMENT OF RHYTHM.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign : Part Three
After you've done the Lawnmower and shaken your ass sufficiently you will want to take things to the next natural step: disrobing.
Start to ease out of your clothing, knowing, as all Sovereign's do, that pants are always optional.
Make sure you're singing along to something as you do it, preferably with your eyes closed. If you don't have a drink, get one, and make sure you throw it around and get it all over yourself.
Likewise, if you have a cigarette, smoke it from the wrong end and tell everyone that you did it.
If you're wearing hammer pants, do at least one Running Man before whipping them off and throwing them in the face of super impressed onlookers. Most likely these onlookers will be relatives, and Grandpa will definitely appreciate getting a sweat stained 1990's throwback all over the sweater your mom got him from you for Christmas.
How To Dance Like A Sovereign: Part Four
You can never go wrong with putting your arms up, behind your head and gyrating your hips a little.
If this doesn't seem to work well enough just flail your arms in the air. If you can't quite visualize this, think in terms of being a drowning person, but rather than drowning in water, you are DROWNING IN HOTNESS.
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posted by sarah, the pirate at 1:11 PM
Hi. My name is
Sarah 
Hey Sarah, what are
ye listening to? 
BLOG CATEGORIES
MARVELLOUS ELSEWHERE!
AND ALSO, 
SHOPPING HOTNESS
FURTHER ELSEWHERE!
I'M READING:
I'M SEEING:
BOOK CLUB!:
4 Comments:
A rerun??!! (Though I must say this one was particularly inspired...)
well, it's a rerun but it's never been posted publically before.
so it's new for the lurkers.
Then you have made the correct choice, grasshopper.*
*I have no idea. I'm just forgot this wasn't public before.
this was great
i will never forget family dinners and dancing to some mixed dance cd in the living room while the 'adults' chatted....although wer were like 20ish...at least i was. yes we all know how to dance like pros....and no one can match out lust for drunken funness
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