Thoughts from the Past Five Days

1) Melissa McClelland is amazing. Blue Farewell. Passenger 24. That's all I have to say.

2) You can buy overpriced postcards featuring crappy family photos of a Chilliwackian bridge at the Mennonite thrift store. If you buy lots of these you can send them to everyone you know, so they, too, can enjoy the grainy quality of half naked fat people lounging on a beach circa 1966.

3) Was leafing through an old journal of random quotes and drawn miscellania when I found a quote from Ange from a few months ago, "I love your freckles ... can I connect the dots... with my tongue?"

4) Lindsay, Banangela and I are starting a super wicked awesome cool 'zine which we are calling Paper Girl Pirates, and it will be shipping out of Masset sometime in the next month or so. Or two months. Honestly, all we've got so far is the name and the will to photocopy. If any of you want to get on the super exciting 'zine bandwagon, email me. I promise it won't be a 'zine that makes you want to gouge out your eyes with rusted spoons. It'll be awesome in the vein of David Bowie cakes with chocolate centres and kittens who also know kung fu and are likewise, inclined to use it.

5) The exploits of Laura and I are suddenly famous. Of course it's "Red River Ward". I knew this, but my inner retard translator turned it into "Warden" because ... being the Red River Warden. That might be cooler.

6) I am going to be late to go out this afternoon. I am not wearing any pants and haven't bathed and am thinking that all of my laundry is still on the spin cycle. But this is okay. I've heard that malls secretly abhor pants anyways.

7) I went to a Haunted House attraction called "Reaper's". ... with my parents. The highlight of this was when, gripping onto my mother like a five year old about ready to wet her pants, a werewolf jumped out of the shadows at me. Screaming like a banshee I fell against the wall, my arm raised as though ready to beat him off should he come any closer. He didn't. The werewolf actually backed off because when I scream, I scream like a crazy woman who has just caught you bothering her multiple cats with your overly loud rock n' roll music and comes screaming out of her house brandishing a carving knife, covered lovingly in cat hair and Whiskas.

Labels: Musings