A Christmas to Remember
There is something about me and church that always morphs me into a thirteen year old girl in awkward overalls practicing religious social agony in one of the back pews. I think it has to do with the whole "no laughing" rule, which isn't to say you can't laugh in church, but generally, they do frown on your bursting into uncontrollable laughing fits during communion.
It's just that everything feels so serious, and vaguely quiet... and then suddenly, say, my dad, in the middle of his sermon, says something like, "Jesus creeped up inside her womb" and I just ... lose it. Not to mention the practice of the Peace, wherein you shake the hands of everyone in a two person radius and say things like, "Peace" or, if you're me, you make a strange gutteral sound while nodding and smiling. They might not be saying anything, but nodding is better that trying to make up for your awkwardness by doing a really awesome dance. Possibly one that incorporates festive jazz hands of fellowship, or hip gyration.
Right now Brad and I are flipping tv channels... at 3 a.m. I hate sleeping at any point during Christmas, because that equates to less time actually enjoying Christmas. It's hard to really enjoy Christmas when you're asleep, possibly having an erotic dream involving pudding, because then you're not really looking at the tree and the lights and your family fixing a drunken Christmas breakfast involving sixty three tonnes of ham. We love ham!
My mom always makes the "Horse Show Morning "Mom" Saver" breakfast. I have no idea what that name means, or what exactly it's referring to, (I'm guessing it's horses and possibly, spousal abuse) but it involves cheese slices, ham, bread, eggs and a process requiring several hours of delicious refrigeration. Unfortunately, this year we all followed the service with some pretty potent wine which lead to us stumbling around at 2 in the morning mixing eggs and slicing ham with really sharp knives.
The best part was when my mom started making it upstairs (after just 2 glasses of wine. I love that woman.) and it took her ten minutes. ....Because she kept taking breaks.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
It's just that everything feels so serious, and vaguely quiet... and then suddenly, say, my dad, in the middle of his sermon, says something like, "Jesus creeped up inside her womb" and I just ... lose it. Not to mention the practice of the Peace, wherein you shake the hands of everyone in a two person radius and say things like, "Peace" or, if you're me, you make a strange gutteral sound while nodding and smiling. They might not be saying anything, but nodding is better that trying to make up for your awkwardness by doing a really awesome dance. Possibly one that incorporates festive jazz hands of fellowship, or hip gyration.
Right now Brad and I are flipping tv channels... at 3 a.m. I hate sleeping at any point during Christmas, because that equates to less time actually enjoying Christmas. It's hard to really enjoy Christmas when you're asleep, possibly having an erotic dream involving pudding, because then you're not really looking at the tree and the lights and your family fixing a drunken Christmas breakfast involving sixty three tonnes of ham. We love ham!
My mom always makes the "Horse Show Morning "Mom" Saver" breakfast. I have no idea what that name means, or what exactly it's referring to, (I'm guessing it's horses and possibly, spousal abuse) but it involves cheese slices, ham, bread, eggs and a process requiring several hours of delicious refrigeration. Unfortunately, this year we all followed the service with some pretty potent wine which lead to us stumbling around at 2 in the morning mixing eggs and slicing ham with really sharp knives.
The best part was when my mom started making it upstairs (after just 2 glasses of wine. I love that woman.) and it took her ten minutes. ....Because she kept taking breaks.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Labels: Family
posted by sarah, the pirate at 2:40 AM
Hi. My name is
Sarah 
Hey Sarah, what are
ye listening to? 
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1 Comments:
Lovely lovely sarah!
At least you were with your family, my xmas morning consisted of my brother in his 4 yr old enthusiasm calling me at 9am going GET UP GET UP!! and go to your WEBCAM! we want to watch you OPEN GIFTS WOOO!
ohhh yes, we are the perfect spokesfamily for web cams, mother was greatly enthralled with the whole ordeal.
MERRY CHRISTMAS DUDE!
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