Lice: Just Say No
When I was a kid I had a few brushes with lice.
I remember one time in particular when my dad stood above me, looking down, telling me all the things the lice were doing... winter sports in my dandruff, weenie roasts by my left ear, dance off's gone wild at the back of my neck.
I cried, and I screamed, and I was fairly certain I'd be scarred for life. Like, that's MY HEAD. ONLY BARRETTES AND REALLY FUN HAIR TIES ARE ALLOWED ON THERE. And possibly HATS THAT I WILL NEVER WEAR AND EVENTUALLY GIVE TO JULES.
I cannot handle lice, just like I cannot handle horny animals, ventriloquism and the musical stylings of Christina Aguilera.
So when Max got it the other day, I tried really hard to chill. I was the very picture of poise when I realized him and I had been sharing a brush, when I realized he'd watched a movie earlier in my room, when I saw the giant lice doing conga lines across his scalp. But I'm pretty sure, if, when Melissa examined my hair she had said, "Oh my God, Sarah. You have lice." I might've given serious, impulsive thought to simply shaving my head bald and dousing my scalp in tea tree oil. Also, I might've started batting at them wildly with my hands while doing my very best impression of Margot Kidder, possibly while trying to implement a big wooden bat to kill them all. Nyx? What?
Luckily I'm lice free, but Max did decide to shave his head bald.
That kid is so punk rock, Y'ALL JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I remember one time in particular when my dad stood above me, looking down, telling me all the things the lice were doing... winter sports in my dandruff, weenie roasts by my left ear, dance off's gone wild at the back of my neck.
I cried, and I screamed, and I was fairly certain I'd be scarred for life. Like, that's MY HEAD. ONLY BARRETTES AND REALLY FUN HAIR TIES ARE ALLOWED ON THERE. And possibly HATS THAT I WILL NEVER WEAR AND EVENTUALLY GIVE TO JULES.
I cannot handle lice, just like I cannot handle horny animals, ventriloquism and the musical stylings of Christina Aguilera.
So when Max got it the other day, I tried really hard to chill. I was the very picture of poise when I realized him and I had been sharing a brush, when I realized he'd watched a movie earlier in my room, when I saw the giant lice doing conga lines across his scalp. But I'm pretty sure, if, when Melissa examined my hair she had said, "Oh my God, Sarah. You have lice." I might've given serious, impulsive thought to simply shaving my head bald and dousing my scalp in tea tree oil. Also, I might've started batting at them wildly with my hands while doing my very best impression of Margot Kidder, possibly while trying to implement a big wooden bat to kill them all. Nyx? What?
Luckily I'm lice free, but Max did decide to shave his head bald.
That kid is so punk rock, Y'ALL JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW.
Labels: Adventures in Babysitting
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3 Comments:
I was a victim of the "shaving" treatment.Huge shock!!!It lead me several years afterwards to grow a 50 cm ponny tail lol
awesome. i fancy myself an expert in lice.
don't forget to re-treat in a week and just because his head is shaved, doesn't mean he won't get it again. there is always some idiot who doesn't remove all the nits or cheaps out on the shampoo and reinfects the entire school..again. repeatedly. forever.
laura, who has never had lice but picks nits out of hair for a living.
i find that tea tree is the best treatment for permenant control....and most good mothers would agree. not to mention it can be used for lots of different things....
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