One Step Closer to Changing My Name to AWESOME.

So I was thinking about changing my name to an incoherent sound. Possibly changing it to the girlish "uhhh" sound that Prince makes at the beginning of "Kiss", or maybe even to the chorus of "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" by Cutting Crew. OH MY GOD YES. I see nothing wrong with getting a little entertainment whenever someone addresses me. It would help if I legally enforced my right that an energetic emotionally touching closed fist accompany my name. "Oh, I just died in your arms tonight" Sovereign, ... I would pretty much find every and any way to get others to say my name in a public forum, particularly through the help of the court system.

It's not that I want to commit crimes, it's just that if you're going to change your name to something retarded, you may as well use it to make a court stenographer's life that much harder. No reason really, except that maybe they've always struck me as a little smug, with their super impressive shorthand typing, striking things from the record like they were God's gift to the legal system. When really, I could totally be a court stenographer... except instead of typing shorthand I'd just video tape everything and then cut it all together to a pleasing, yet dramatic soundtrack. Possibly a little something from National Treasure Bryan Adams.

So tomorrow is Melissa's birthday and today I made a surprise birthday cak for her. It was supposed to be marbled, as the super detailed cake box promised but I accidentally, likely because the three instructions on the back of the box were entirely too difficult, especially coupled with demonstrative illustrations, sprinkled all the chocolate cake powder onto the top where it sat for the entirety of the cooking process ... and kind of burned a little. Luckily, I am a ninja with icing and NO ONE IS ANY THE WISER.

I then cut up the entire cake into the shape of Melissa... except.. Melissa without legs... and hands... and wearing a witch hat that looks more like an unbalanced puzzling triangle sitting on top of her head. When I used coloured icings to draw on her face, the final result looked a little like the female Gremlin from Gremlins 2, or, coincidentally, what I look like when I wear too much rouge.

Labels: Sarah Land