Limericks Schmimericks.

Still sending out resumes, still waiting for replies. I think part of my thus far unsuccessfulness is due to presentation. So next time I drop off a resume I'm totally going to wear sparkle pants while pulling a donkey with the words "HIRE SARAH" painted onto his coat with vegetable dye.*

What else is new? I am looking for a really great shade of lipstick. I do not understand cosmetics. When I finally began buying makeup, back in Grade Nine, I got the palest possible cover up, which made me look like the dead twin in Flowers In the Attic. Except huskier, and coupling an orange turtleneck with overalls while whining for chips. After applying this powder to my face, I went on the hunt for suitable lipstick. Lacking funds, I borrowed my Nanny's.

My Nan was a great woman, and hot as hell in her day, with a bone structure you could cut a roast with. She was very fashionable, and always dressed to the nines, but who in the hell knows where she got her lipstick from. It was this nauseating Pepto Bismal shade and I smeared it onto my lips in at least seven layers to get the full affect. I would go into how I completed my look with about five tonnes of blue eyeshadow, but I think you've all heard enough and can properly conclude why I was a dateless loser back in high school.

Anyways. I like to think I'm doing better these days, but that doesn't make up for the fact that I mostly don't know anything about makeup. Although I think I've moved past the Stealing Cosmetics From the Elderly stage. I was at Shopper's Drug Mart the other day trying lipstick shades. The lipstick I normally get, Blush (I think?) by Revlon has been discontinued and I've been trying for weeks now to find a decent replacement. Everything seems to wash me out too much though. That and I'm still tempted by the names, smells and prices of Bonnebell. Because at heart I am probably a fourteen year old girl.

I kept noticing the Shopper's Drug Mart lady fluttering around in my peripheral vision, sort of checking in on me from time to time, likely to make sure I was not pocketing discount mascara or watching me struggle with testers or just looking incredibly confused when confronted with foundation powders. (Do not even get me started. I had a bit of an incident with Ivory lotion and cream 2 in 1 whatever stuff tonight at Walmart. That is not even it's official name, but ... really, I was too busy being distracted about how I'd just become an Oompa Loompa thanks to the tester.) Anyways, the woman finally came up to me and recommended that I try testing the lipstick on the tips of my fingers, as they are generally closer to the colour of the lips.

This would probably work for most people, but unfortunately, the tips of my fingers always look like I've been dipping them in fruit juice, or possibly, eating lots of ketchup chips. Still though, it's probably a lot more effective than looking puzzingly at the lipstick shade for twenty seconds, envisioning myself wearing it for a good millisecond before I get distracted by other thoughts... like fun hats or dinosaurs I might want to ride. **

So I am still on the quest for colours and cosmetics that will work for me. Any suggestions? what do you guys use?

*Or maybe a snappy limerick? Like, "There once was a girl with blonde hair, Who had a hot derriere, She needed a job, Not to live like a slob, Thank Christ she's got a pair." That should really be the verse inside my Christmas cards. ***

***Honestly, usually I use the tester on my hand, but I think that my skin is too anemically challenged for anything to look all that decent. In the meantime, my saviour has been "Love Thy Lips", a really awesome lip balm I picked up in Tlell many moons ago.

*** Yes, I have not yet sent my Christmas cards. But just like the knitted, decorative Christmas sweater I am right this minute wearing, it is never too late for Christmas.

Labels: Musings, Suitcase of Memories